Work, Motherhood & Mom Guilt: You’re Not Alone
I’m writing this as our little boy kicks in my belly. With just a couple of weeks left of pregnancy with baby #2, I can’t help but reflect on how much the past 2+ years of motherhood have changed me. Then there’s the anticipation (and some anxiety) of how much our lives will change once again as we transition from a family of three to four.
I know many of you can relate. Whether it’s being a ‘mompreneur’, working mom or SAHM, motherhood is a constant juggling act. It’s incredibly rewarding but can also be overwhelming and relentless.
While I certainly don’t have all the answers, motherhood has taught me lessons that have reshaped who I am and how I show up for my family and our business. Here are a few big lessons I’ve learned along the way:
It’s a tug-of-war that never quite lets up. I’ve talked to countless moms, and mom guilt is a thread that binds us. We’re all wrestling with the idea that we should be more somewhere.
But I’ve learned that mom guilt doesn’t have to win. Instead, I’m learning to handle it by acknowledging it and in a way accepting it. I don’t think it will ever go away completely, but I’m finding simple methods to quell that guilt. Sometimes I jot down three things I did well that day, whether it’s getting a really important work task done or having a quality snuggle session with my Squish Squish. It’s a small and simple act that grounds me and makes me less harsh on myself, reminding me that yes, I am doing enough and I am enough.
Fast forward to today, and our Henné business has grown and is stable enough so I can step back a bit and have a smaller workload during this early season of parenthood, and I’m immensely grateful for this.
It’s not without its tradeoffs and sacrifices though. We’re older parents than we might have planned, and that brings its own challenges, like chasing a toddler with a few more aches than I’d like. And the first 1.5 years after Stella was born, our business plateaued, which was definitely a result of not just me stepping back more but Axel as well.
This taught me a truth, and one saying in particular has become my mantra: “You can have it all, just not all at once.” There’s a season for everything. You can have it all—family, career, dreams—but not all at the same time. For me, the business came first. Then, until fairly recently, my primary focus was Stella. Now with our son Christian arriving soon, I’m shifting gears once again. I’ll be soaking up every minute of those newborn months, especially as this might be our last baby. After those initial months, Axel and I will figure out how to adapt our schedule so we have a healthy work-life balance.
It’s not perfect, but it’s intentional. Every mom’s priorities look different, and that’s how it should be. Whether you’re all-in on your new business or job or savoring extra time with your little ones, the key is choosing what matters most in this season and owning it without apology.
Motherhood came along and said, “Oh really? Hold my baby bottle,” and blurred the lines again. Once I started transitioning to a bigger workload again, I quickly became overwhelmed. Work emails and phone meetings would creep into mealtimes, Stella would often interrupt a Zoom call with happy squeals (or a total meltdown), and sometimes I’d have to straight up nurse her during a call and just turn off the video.
I still remember one particular hot mess of a Zoom call: I didn’t need to have the camera on and was trying to quietly and discreetly breastfeed Stella when suddenly, she pulled away and started screaming bloody murder, causing the milk to start spraying all over my laptop like a wonky sprinkler system. Great times.
Now, I’m a lot more firm with my time. I’m much stricter with my work hours, and our team knows to only text me if it’s super time-sensitive or urgent (otherwise send it on Slack and email). I no longer try to sneak in an email (or three) during mealtimes or when I’m spending quality time with Stella. Axel and I have created a Family Values mission statement that we display on our fridge and read daily. One of the core values is, “We spend quality time together without distractions.”
Also, I carve out time for myself each day. On the more hectic days, it might only be five minutes at a time, but it’s crucial for my sanity so I don’t run on empty.
To every mom reading this who’s currently in the trenches, you’re not alone. Your dreams and your love for your family are not at odds—they’re two sides of the same determined spirit. So keep showing up, setting boundaries, and choosing what matters in this season. You’ve got this, you’re doing a great job, and you are more than enough.
For the seasoned mom veterans out there, I’d love to hear from you! If there are any lessons you’ve learned or tips you’d like to share, please send them my way. I’m by no means an expert, and I’m always eager to learn from those who have taken this journey before me.
As per usual, I didn’t mean for this blog post/email to end up so long, but here we are. With my pregnancy bladder reminding me that it’s time for a bathroom break, I’ll wrap it up by saying that I hope some of these ramblings above are helpful to you if you’re going through a similar life stage right now. And for those of you who went through this a long time ago, hopefully it brought you a bit of nostalgia (and giggles) about those early years!
xoxo
Laura
I know many of you can relate. Whether it’s being a ‘mompreneur’, working mom or SAHM, motherhood is a constant juggling act. It’s incredibly rewarding but can also be overwhelming and relentless.
While I certainly don’t have all the answers, motherhood has taught me lessons that have reshaped who I am and how I show up for my family and our business. Here are a few big lessons I’ve learned along the way:
1. Mom Guilt: The Guest Who Never Leaves
If there’s one thing every mom knows, it’s mom guilt; a shadowy guest that lingers and overstays its welcome. I feel it when having a crazy busy work day, wondering if I’m missing precious moments with our little Stella. Then when we’re playing outside or reading one of her favorite books, a nagging voice whispers that I’m neglecting Henné.It’s a tug-of-war that never quite lets up. I’ve talked to countless moms, and mom guilt is a thread that binds us. We’re all wrestling with the idea that we should be more somewhere.
But I’ve learned that mom guilt doesn’t have to win. Instead, I’m learning to handle it by acknowledging it and in a way accepting it. I don’t think it will ever go away completely, but I’m finding simple methods to quell that guilt. Sometimes I jot down three things I did well that day, whether it’s getting a really important work task done or having a quality snuggle session with my Squish Squish. It’s a small and simple act that grounds me and makes me less harsh on myself, reminding me that yes, I am doing enough and I am enough.
2. Seasons of Life: Choose What Matters Most Right Now
Early in our marriage, my hubby Axel and I made a big decision to pour our hearts into building our business before starting a family. It wasn’t easy to delay parenthood and it’s not necessarily for everyone, but it felt right for us. We wanted a foundation that would let us breathe a little easier when our future kids arrived. As a first-generation immigrant who watched her parents struggle for years when we first moved to the US, I think a part of me yearned to give my children that financial stability from the get-go.Fast forward to today, and our Henné business has grown and is stable enough so I can step back a bit and have a smaller workload during this early season of parenthood, and I’m immensely grateful for this.
It’s not without its tradeoffs and sacrifices though. We’re older parents than we might have planned, and that brings its own challenges, like chasing a toddler with a few more aches than I’d like. And the first 1.5 years after Stella was born, our business plateaued, which was definitely a result of not just me stepping back more but Axel as well.
This taught me a truth, and one saying in particular has become my mantra: “You can have it all, just not all at once.” There’s a season for everything. You can have it all—family, career, dreams—but not all at the same time. For me, the business came first. Then, until fairly recently, my primary focus was Stella. Now with our son Christian arriving soon, I’m shifting gears once again. I’ll be soaking up every minute of those newborn months, especially as this might be our last baby. After those initial months, Axel and I will figure out how to adapt our schedule so we have a healthy work-life balance.
It’s not perfect, but it’s intentional. Every mom’s priorities look different, and that’s how it should be. Whether you’re all-in on your new business or job or savoring extra time with your little ones, the key is choosing what matters most in this season and owning it without apology.
3. Boundaries Matter
Before Stella was born, I thought I had the work-life balance and setting boundaries stuff locked down. After all, Axel and I have been working together in some capacity since 2012, so we had a handful of years to iron out the kinks and find a healthy and harmonious balance between our romantic relationship and working relationship.Motherhood came along and said, “Oh really? Hold my baby bottle,” and blurred the lines again. Once I started transitioning to a bigger workload again, I quickly became overwhelmed. Work emails and phone meetings would creep into mealtimes, Stella would often interrupt a Zoom call with happy squeals (or a total meltdown), and sometimes I’d have to straight up nurse her during a call and just turn off the video.
I still remember one particular hot mess of a Zoom call: I didn’t need to have the camera on and was trying to quietly and discreetly breastfeed Stella when suddenly, she pulled away and started screaming bloody murder, causing the milk to start spraying all over my laptop like a wonky sprinkler system. Great times.
Now, I’m a lot more firm with my time. I’m much stricter with my work hours, and our team knows to only text me if it’s super time-sensitive or urgent (otherwise send it on Slack and email). I no longer try to sneak in an email (or three) during mealtimes or when I’m spending quality time with Stella. Axel and I have created a Family Values mission statement that we display on our fridge and read daily. One of the core values is, “We spend quality time together without distractions.”
Also, I carve out time for myself each day. On the more hectic days, it might only be five minutes at a time, but it’s crucial for my sanity so I don’t run on empty.
A Hopeful and Grateful Heart
Being a mompreneur is messy, beautiful, and humbling. It’s late nights worrying whether I’m getting it right or not and early mornings marveling at how far I’ve come. The guilt, the tradeoffs, the boundaries—they’re all part of a journey that’s teaching me to embrace imperfection and trust my intuition.To every mom reading this who’s currently in the trenches, you’re not alone. Your dreams and your love for your family are not at odds—they’re two sides of the same determined spirit. So keep showing up, setting boundaries, and choosing what matters in this season. You’ve got this, you’re doing a great job, and you are more than enough.
For the seasoned mom veterans out there, I’d love to hear from you! If there are any lessons you’ve learned or tips you’d like to share, please send them my way. I’m by no means an expert, and I’m always eager to learn from those who have taken this journey before me.
As per usual, I didn’t mean for this blog post/email to end up so long, but here we are. With my pregnancy bladder reminding me that it’s time for a bathroom break, I’ll wrap it up by saying that I hope some of these ramblings above are helpful to you if you’re going through a similar life stage right now. And for those of you who went through this a long time ago, hopefully it brought you a bit of nostalgia (and giggles) about those early years!
xoxo
Laura
